Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
