but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
