Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Say something about gay babies.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
don't judge my taste in strippers
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
