I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize