A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
