i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
