well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
