Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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