I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize