I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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