I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
