As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i was born a porn star she said
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize