There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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