There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize