So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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