Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Randomize
