I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize