I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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