Define "chronic" masturbator.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
