Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
