Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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