Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
