is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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