I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
