Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
