piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
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