come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
