question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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