She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Drunk is not a location!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
