'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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