Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
