Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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