I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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