We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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