so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
