You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
