1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
