good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
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