so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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