I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
