he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize