i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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