I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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