you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
