Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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