I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just gargled with NyQuil
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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