Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize