totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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