Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Please don't give away my fajitas
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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