Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
