fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
