Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She's like a pop up book from hell.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
