Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
