So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I am available for nakedness
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