he wants to bone in the snuggie
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
