bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize