If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize