just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
