I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
