I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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